Nars Aigle Noir review
E: Aigle Noir.
M: What is there to say? It’s a black eagle. Elegant, regal, gracious.
E: Yet also beaky, clawy, vicious. At first sight, a black eagle is not something I want to put anywhere near my eyes.
M: This black eagle is sparkly.
E: Eagles aren’t sparkly are they?
M: Their eyes are. The deep golden hue of freedom.
E: Oh. I thought that glint in their eyes was bloodlust.
M: No, it’s majestic generosity of spirit.
E: We do really, really like Mr Nars, don’t we?
M: Yes. Although we’re not sure he’s real.
E: Has anyone ever seen him?
M: I mean Nars? François Nars? That’s a fake name.
E: Look:
M: Ha! FAKE. That’s totally photoshopped.
E: Nars. Not a real name, and a face cobbled together from back issues of National Enquirer.
M: It’s Tom Cruise’s hair, with Justin Timberlake’s beard.
E: And the rest of him is some Spanish dude. Joaquim Cortez maybe.
M: In any case, the giant, faceless corporation behind “Mr Nars” is a GENIUS. A TOTAL GENIUS.
E: Yes, who cares that he’s made up. “Mr” “Nars” is BRILLIANT.
M: “Mr” “Nars”, we love you. Proper love.
E: Proper, no mockery, even though you are made up, love. Your black eagle is Amazing. Not remotely sharp or pointy.
M: I mean, eyeliner, in a giant, soft pencil, with smouldering, golden shimmer.
E: Retard proof too.
M: Yes. You can rub it all over your face with no ill effect.
E: Maybe not on your upper lip? It might not look so good there.
M: Sssssh. It would, if you were trying to look like “Mr” “Nars”. We should also mention that Aigle Noir is of course the title of a famous French song.
E: In this version, Maurice Béjart dances a homage to fat eyeliner crayon.
M: He understands the importance of eyeliner.
E: He does. So much so, that I find myself wondering if that isn’t actually François Nars dancing.
M: What is the woman? Is she the eye? Lesser eyeliner? £2.95 “Collection 2000″ eyeliner?
E: Yes. She should stop pretending she has wings.
M: And why are those people carrying giant triangles? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Do they symbolize the Q tip coming to clean up the smudges?
E: You don’t really get that problem with aigle noir though, do you? I am a bit disturbed by the tiny wing claps at 3’10. Awful.
M: Awfully GOOD.
E: It’s like he’s seen a vole he wants to eat.
M: THAT’S what she is. She’s a vole! And the triangles are the beak.
E: Aigle Noir makes us elegant and regal for one brief moment. That is why it is awesome.
M: Yes. A brief fleeting moment, it’s gone, like an eagle soaring in the heavens above. Why is “Mr” “Nars” making me write bad emo poetry?
E: All part of his evil plan, probably.
M: No. He isn’t evil. He doesn’t have an evil bone in his made up body.
E: Ok, it’s all part of his benign plan.
M: He just wants us to be beautiful. Even though we’re rubbish at being girls.
E: He’s the Gok Wan of make up.
M: Yes! With less gropage.
E: Facial grope would be weird, anyway.
M: He makes magic pants. For faces.
E: How do you wear yours, M? That’s a Cadbury’s Creme Egg reference, of course.
M: I usually start out trying to wear it as eyeliner. But then I fuck it up, so I smudge it all over my lower lid. Sometimes I put it on the outer corners of my lashline and smudge it outwards. That’s it.
E: The eagle is very forgiving. I put my proper eyeliner on first. Then I give it a bit of eagle just above the lash line. Then I blend a bit. Then sometimes I get carried away and put it all over the lid. I love how easy it is. Easy and greasy and sexy.
M: It’s a bit too thick to control, isn’t it? But that’s the genius of it.
E: Yes. That’s what makes for the general smudgy, sparkly gorgeousness.
M: So. Aigle Noir. Made by a faceless corporation hiding behind a photoshopped image and a made up name, but completely brilliant.
E: Yup. “Mr” “Nars”. You made us feel like laydeez. Thank you.
Nars Soft Touch Shadow Pencil in Aigle Noir
£15.00 direct from the miracle worker
Subscribe
fuck. i know i’m totally gonna go and get some now, even though i wear eyeliner once every 3.7 months. thanks A LOT!
These are hilarious, well done ladies
Polish Chicka – I too only wear eyeliner once in a blue moon normally, but I wear this ALL THE TIME. It’s eyeliner crack. Only takes a few seconds to apply, and then you’re hooked for life x
That looks proper amazing. And I will be using the phrase ‘give it a bit of eagle’ as often as I can.
I ordered some of this today. Husband will have a fit at the expense, but I have 3 gigs to go to next week, and it will look fucking awesome with my checked shirt and skinny jeans(yes, on occasion I am one of them). Also he fucked of on tour and left me in Dundee, which is going to be my reasoning for buying things for the next month.
Lisa-Marie, abandonment in Dundee is grounds for way more than one measly eye pencil. Nars do some AWESOME thick matte lip pencils too. Will review soon if you need an excuse.
M, please do. I need a new lip thinger, I am not feeling the Benetint anymore – I think I might be too old for lip stain.
I love you both for providing me with more reason to buy expensive make-up I don’t need!
Erm, that giant photo of the pencil is very disturbing. And faintly phallic. Hasn’t anyone else noticed? (Oh. Just me then.)
Yum. I was playing with these pencils at the Nars bit in Liberty a couple of weeks ago, I’m holding out in the hope they might bring out a a blacky purple or green one as I already seem to have about a million golden eyeshadows.
You do realise I went out and bought this yesterday, and it’s all your fault? I had a party to go to (that was my excuse, anyway) AND I bought the damn Laura Mercier tinted stuff. Although that wasn’t your fault, I hadn’t read that bit, it was the fault of the intimidatingly glamourous woman in Space NK, who upsold me the LM invisa face paint after helping me with the eye pencil.
But it’s TRUE, the Nars pencil is totally addictive. It’s eye pencil crack. It looks amazing on and it’s soooo easy to use. I may or may not be wearing it now, even though it’s Sunday afternoon and I have no wear to go that could possibly justify goldy black eyeliner.
So, thanks Emma and M for writing the best and funniest beauty site I’ve ever come across. Although, I am clearly very suggestible to your reviews, so I should perhaps stop reading for the good of my bank balance…
You know what you COULD do is get some kind of affiliated links to the products that your review on to your site. Don’t ask me how the feck you do it, I just know that it Can Be Done.
Then when we succumb to your hugely entertaining musings on the products and click through to buy it, you get some pennies.
And it might literally just be pennies.
Any use?
Ali x
I NEVER wear makeup, like once a year honestly, but after reading this I DREAMED about this stupid pencil and woke up convinced I had to have it. Three days later! I still want it! I hope Nars is reading, they should send you a truckload of expensive goodies to try out and post about because clearly you have hypnotic selling powers.
[...] Well. You had to spend £60. So I went to see our old friend “Mr” “Nars“, who was represented by a pretty Spanish boy who they are probably grooming to be the next [...]
[...] Apart from black eagles. They are [...]
On the strength of this review (going on the basis that any site that makes me snort with laughter at my desk must be on to something) I went and bought The Eagle. And I love it dearly. But… have you tried sharpening it (I haven’t tried yet in case I ruin it) or have I paid £15 for a centimetre of eagle? Mine looks a bit too, erm, plastic to sharpen…
Keep up the good work!
[...] There is fat glittery eye pencil, suspiciously like our beloved Aigle Noir, and it comes in all sorts of other colours too. Only [...]
Argh, can you imagine our dismay when we literally ran to get The Eagle in Harvey Nicks in Leeds and they DIDN’T HAVE IT! There were nearly tears, me and my friend need this wonderous item, if only to say “The Eagle has landed!” when applying it!