Soap & Glory Dr Spot review
M: Remember last time we were in London, E? There was craft.
E: I do! There were squirrels in boxes.
M: There were rude biscuits.
E: And lamb chops. Happy times.
M: Mmmm, smoky spicy lamb chops. I introduced you to my friend Dr Mystery, he who has the necklace used for measuring testicles.
E: Yes! Doctor Mystery who has a pet eagle and a necklace of testicles!
M: He does. These two statements are fact. Anyway, today I’d like to introduce you to another doctor.
E: Ooooh. I like doctors.
M: His name? DR SPOT.
E: Oh. Dr Spot. Is he a character in a board book for under 3s?
M: See Spot perform a tracheostomy. Actually, he’s a character in a cardboard box for the over 16s, I think. The Spot Afflicted.
E: Ah! Dr Spot is a product! I thought he was a potential boyfriend for me.
M: No. Dr Spot is a Soap & Glory product. It comes in a tiny tube the size of a fat packet of Tic Tacs. Or a Zippo. Yes, that’s it. A pharmaceutical Zippo for your spots. Look:
E: He’s cute. Is he single?
M: I don’t know, I think Dr Spot might be a girl.
E: Either way he or she is really very small. Why do spot creams come in tiny tubes? Is it to emphasise their powerful magic mojo?
M: Yes. Dr Spot is big on hype. Being a Soap & Glory product, naturally the box is covered in hyperbole. “Better than excellent… my spots disappeared instantly!”
E: Ha. That sounds like LIES.
M: It is lies, obviously. BUT: He has a tiny dainty nozzle, for only giving out a tiny amount of product. Which is good for, err, spot treating spots.
E: “Tiny dainty nozzle”. I see.
M: Also, you know how I’m basically a zombie servant to Lisa Eldridge now?
E: Yes. You are one of her army of the undead. She has eaten your BRAIN.
M: Of the undead, and one day, perhaps, clear-skinned.
E: Undeath is very good for the complexion.
M: You would know. ANYWAY. Lisa Eldridge recommends lactic acid as her favourite ingredient for clearing skin and making you all glowy and doe eyed and soft as a baby dik dik.
E: Lactic acid? really? Isn’t that the stuff you give out when you do an-thingy exercise? Anaerobic. that’s it.
M: Dude, you’re talking Exercise, I no understand. Lactic acid. It is gentle but potent and is the active ingredient in this little Zippo of goodness. I am obsessed with lactic acid at the moment, and this is satisfying my milky needs.
E: So? Does it WORK???
M: It’s very good! It’s not a miracle, but it’s kept my angry spots under control, and is quite good on those under the skin ones, with no dried cack around the offending areas. I think we should trademark “cack”, don’t you?
E: Yes. Yes we should. Cack ™.
M: Now, it’s no good immediately before makeup, especially mineral powder, unless you want to look like a witch with a peeling sunburn. Boak.
E: I don’t, thanks. Is it more a nighttime thing?
M: Well, it says you can use it whenever and wherever. But, again, LIES. Because, erm, wherever? No.
E: In a board meeting? NO. Swimming? NO. Measuring testicles in a busy Casualty department? NO.
M: So, listen up, Dr Spot. Stop trying so hard. We know you’re all shiny and dinky and your packaging is cute and practical.
E: But noone likes a boastful spot cream.
M: Nope. Don’t say we didn’t warn you when you end up doing rectal exams on the geriatric ward.
E: I might try this though M. You have tempted me. It’s cheap, right?
M: Yeah, £9, although utterly sold out everywhere, APART FROM at Harvey Nichols where I got mine. Hang on. I have just checked, it’s £6.50 at Boots. Shame on you, Harvey Nics!
E: Shame on you.
Soap & Glory Dr Spot, £6.50
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lol. My toilet cleaner fluid contains lactic acid. I’ve used Dr Spot for a number of months. Still got spots but this doesn’t make them worse, which in my book is a VERY GOOD THING. It’s the ‘Dr’ title. Gets me every time. I’m a push-over for a Dr, sailor, lawyer, barman….
I love lactic acid – it’s in Philosophy’s Hope in a Jar, the original one that if I get into my eyes, I can’t stop crying. I can use it anytime and it doesn’t make my face flaky (am prone to flakiness).
I was at the Craftacular thing purchasing unnecessary items. Mayhem, murder and madness but great fun.
Yay! Let’s start the Lactic Acid Appreciation Society.
JJ: What does Hope in a Jar do? I’m always tempted because of the name. Sell me!
Yup, I Appreciate Lactic Acid because I’m one of the lucky ones – spots AND wrinkles. And bags under the eyes and a limp.
Margaret, I imagine it eating off the dead skin and leaving me all glowy and fresh-faced. I’m not sure if that’s just my imagination though or some sort of hallucination caused by the smell.
It doesn’t get great reviews on makeupalley, so if you want to try it, maybe get a small jar or a sample if you can.
I already use this! It is good goop!
I am addicted to Soap & Glory because of the smell!
Is lactic acid the stuff that floods your muscles when you exercise, causing you to collapse in a red, sweaty heap only half way around the running track?
Not sure I fancy that on my face! <-This, coming from the woman who has been sneakily smearing snail trails onto her chin at night.
Ali x
Hold on, is this necklace used for measuring testicles, a necklace of testicles? Cos that, right there, is a statement piece.
At last, Magma, someone notices the best part of the whole post. Yes! The testicle necklace! Who needs cosmetics when you have one of those, hmmm?
When I was at school, a classmate of mine had a pet gerbil called “Cack”.
JJ: Eating away the skin. Interesting. And by “interesting” I mean “disgusting.” I will have to get a sample.
Em: Are you at the point where you have to wear reading glasses to examine your spots in the mirror? It is so demoralizing.
Margaret – no, i just squint to hasten the advent of further wrinkles. This is me accepting growing older with good grace. Or just deep, deep dispair…
Stop the Bus!!! Just noticed the posts that say Hope in a Jar has this lactic acid in it! I have been putting this on my face for months! It has been a very good moisturiser, but just this morning I howked the very last vestiges from the corners of the jar. Was all set to buy el cheapo replacement, but now I MUST have a new jar of Hope.
Ali x
[...] E: I LOVE a doctor. I’m like those old ladies that make up illnesses just to get to see the doctor. Mmmmm. Doctors are LOVELY. Even ones who don’t have testicle necklaces like our friend Dr Mystery. [...]