Topshop Makeup launches
M: Isn’t today amazing? Isn’t it wonderful?
E: Er, no? It’s shit. The world economies are collapsing and neither of our countries now has a government. What’s wrong with you? Have you been sniffing glue?
M: It is Spring. The blossoms are out. The sun is shining. The temperatures are a tiny bit over freezing.
E: Hmm. You have been sniffing glue.
M: SPRRRRING! And I have finished my accounts.
E: AHA! That’s what this is about.
M: Yes! They have been given to the new accountant, who is £300 cheaper than the old bastard accountant.
E: Well that is cause for celebration. High five M.
M: High five, E. Using the power of girl logic, this means I have £300 to spend.*
E: That’s a lot of money M*. What did you buy? Baby goats? Macaroons? Baby goats made of macaroons?
M: Well I happened to be walking past Topshop on my way to the office.** They have a new makeup collection. Have you seen it?
E: No, but I have read about it and it sounds good. ‘Good’ That’s a highly technical makeupbloggist term.
M: Well, it’s the magical launch week today so they had a special glossy stand in the big shiny new Topshop and they had flown*** over some Special Makeup People.****
E: And? And and and????? Did you try it? Is it good?
M: It’s actually very very good. I LOVE IT. Cheap. Nice products. Flimsy packaging but very cute. I could have bought practically all of it.
E: So what DID you buy?
M: Shall I give you the highlights?
E: Please do.
M: There is fat glittery eye pencil, suspiciously like our beloved Aigle Noir, and it comes in all sorts of other colours too. Only £6.
E: Ooooh cheap eagle, not bad, not bad.
M: There is a powder highlighter from the special summer collection, which is nice and finely milled (technical term).
E: Get you with your beauty bloggist terminology.
M: It also shines like the sun. The makeover artist recommended the mascara – she said it was great even with the crap hygienic disposable brush they have to use. I didn’t buy it but I will. SOON.
E: You must. It is your Duty.
M: Their cream blushes are nice. Like Stila convertible colours but not so gloopy,very sheer and light.
E: Oh, I want to gooooo! Why do I live in Belgiana? Whiiiiine.
M: There there, whiny. You will. Soon. I want to show you my favourite thing.
E: Yes please.
M: This is the Crayon in Sun Shower. It is AMAZING.
E: Ooh that is PRETTY . What does it do?
M: It’s a soft greasy crayon pencil thing and it twists out of the pretty gold case. It’s like a bronzy browny gold for your eyelids.
E: Wow. I love it already. GIMME. I like how it says you can do “face art”.
M: Yes. It will be good for our planned Mexican wrestling makeover. I also bought a couple of nail polishes. They have a huuuuge range of colours.
E: Which ones did you get?
M: I got two… one is “nice n neutral”, minky greige, and the other is called “art school” (HA).
E: HA. And what colour is “art school”?
M: “Art school” is a soft gorgeous pink.
E: Pfff, as if. Art school should be mental coloured. With sticky-outy bits of weirdness and gratuitous phalluses probably.
M: Art school should be half glitter, half leopard print, half comet vomit.
E: And half penis. That’s 4 halves. Facegoop maths.
M: That’s ok, art students can’t count. The varnishes look really good though. They had a good one which was black in the pot but came out petrol blue.
E: So, Top Shop make up is a massive Facegoop WIN?
M: Yes, BUT. The makeup artist. She grabbed me, and put crazy ass BLUE GLITTERY EYE MAKEUP on me. What is it with sales assistants and blue makeup???
E: What is it with YOU and blue makeup, you mean. You knows you love it.
M: I looked like a crazy person. I mean CRAZY. Like, the No7 makeover was neutral and calm in comparison. GIANT ASS GLITTER CRAZY. BIG FAT FLECKS. ALL OVER MY FACE.
E: Whoop. Disco M. Edinburgh has never seen anything like it.
M: She said “it’ll look great for an evening out”. Little does she know my evenings out consist of knitting and eating biscuits.
E: Great for a night out ON MARS. So we are excited about Top Shop make up then?
M: Yes. We love it. You will love it when you get your grubby Belgian paws on it. It is Cheap. And Pretty. And Crazy.
E: I can’t wait. Gimme some gold crayon goodness.
* Lies
** Lies again: I was on my way home back to bed.
*** Bused.
**** Poor Students.
Topshop makeup, all under £10.
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M, i think we need a blue eyeshadow intervention for you.
The packaging looks nice. Did they have other colours of the shiny gold eye crayon thing? Should I buy some on my way to the We hate the Tories rally this evening?
There’s a silver crayon too.
Silver is much more my thing! you have convinced me.
Ugh, I so want all their stuff. I’m on an expensive make-up ban (make that an all make-up ban actually) so have been checking it out online where I won’t instantly snatch it all up and run to the till hoping no one, especially my bank card, will notice. Having said that, we’ve only got a smallish Topshop in Swansea so they might not even have it in yet. Damn.
If anyone needs makeup that can do Face Art right now, it’s ME: I’m going to see KISS tomorrow night in SECC. It will be all high heels, corsets, full slap and enough hair spray to gas a badger. And that’s just the guys.
Thank you for this, I shall return from my visit to the mainland laden with Top Shop make up!!!!!
BTW – have you tasted any of these new products, M?
Ali
Stop Press – you can buy online!
http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryDisplay?catalogId=19551&storeId=12556&categoryId=206987&langId=-1&top=Y
Ali x
It has taken me this long to realise that the fact that my best friend is a manager in Topshop and therefor has a discountthat could help in the procurement of lovely make-up. I am a bit ashamed of myself!
Bought an eye pencil and mascara online, as TS offered free P&P last week. Really impressed. Great quality for not much money. I am definitely buying more soon!
[...] M: I got one of those. With the Topshop mascara. [...]