Good Things Stay Clear cleanser review
E: You seem very pleased with yourself, M. What gives? Stolen a pony?
M: Well, you know how I’ve just finished my course of face hoovering.
E: Of course. Are you in withdrawal? Eyeing up the hoover at home with hungry eyes?
M: Yes. I have a Dirty Devil which could be just right.
E: I think you mean a Dirt Devil.
M: Whatevs. Well, my skin was much better after that, but I had all these weird little milia and tiny angry red spots that just wouldn’t go away.
So, I’ve been wondering, as one does, what could be the cause of these aggravations. Stress?
E: Ha.
M: Chocolate? A diet of potatoes and cheese? The work of the devil?
E: Weeping? So have you got any answers to this puzzle?
M: Well, I’ve been suspecting Sodium Lauryl Sulfate.
E: Oh?
And what is this substance?
M: Sulfate – see? That’s what they have in hell, isn’t it?
E: Yup. It’s the devil’s own additive.
M: I dunno, some people react badly to it. It’s that stuff that makes shit foam, innit. Well, not actually shit. Just, products. OH GOD.
E: It’s OK. I GET IT.
M: Ok.
E: Ick. Shit foam.
M: So, I picked up this Good Things Stay Clear purifying cleanser at Boots the other day. It’s had a lot of press. Alice Hart-Davis, who is apparently a beauty writer, created the line. And you know what? That shit is GOOOD.
E: Ooooh! Tell me more.
M: It’s a gel that you rub on your wet face for a minute or so. It turns sort of thick and creamy so you can really massage it in. And then you take it off with a flannel. It’s free from all the bad stuff, hence the name.
E: Ok. So far so .. cleansery. What’s so good about it?
M: It’s the exorcist, in a face wash.
E: Wowsers.
M: I’ve only been using it for 3 days, and the tiny angry red spots that have been there for MONTHS are gone.
E: Wow. that’s some awesome shit.
M: Black magic, if you ask me.
E: I am so buying it. I bet it cures scurvy (I have scurvy).
M: Maybe. If you drink it. It has mangoes and blueberries in it.
E: It’s like putting a toad in your pocket or saying the rosary.
M: Ha, that reminds me of the toad purse.
E: What the fuck is the toad purse?
M: It’s a toad! It’s a purse!
E: WHY HAD I NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE?? OH MY GOD. It’s a dried toad you put money in? Is that correct?
M: Well, a dried hollowed toad you put money in
E: Oh god. Still, better than the vagina one.
M: Dude, why are we bringing vaginas into this?
E: I really don’t know. Quick! Send for the Good Things Cleanser! I need a full brain wash.
M: I’ll get the flannel.
Good Things Stay Clear cleanser, £4.99
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‘The Exorcist in a face wash’. FABLAS description *grin*.
I have GOT to get myself some of that.
I get red blotchy patches and just assumed that it was the way my skin was – never thought for a NANO that it might be something unpleasant in my facial routine.
Try using face wash on toad purse, see if you can’t get it to turn into a Hansum Prinz.
Ali x
There’s a creamy one too.
Not toad, or prince, but facewash.
I am very disappointed to find that Boots USA does not carry this product, as your description makes me want it desperately.
This sounds rather good. Not sure about the toad purse. Maybe I should get one though, expressly for visits to Selfridges Beauty hall? It might ward the Lizard King’s minions off!
MB x
thanks you for introducing me to The Man Repeller!!… there goes my productive afternoon!
Modesty – aahahhahahahahhahahaha. You should totally go in there and demand lipstick with a serious expression while stroking your toad purse placed firmly on the counter.
Katmaddison – productivity has no place on facegoop. Don’t let me catch you at it again.
I also have scurvy, but I am a man…
Will it cure the scurge of all scurvy…scurgy scurvy…man scurvy?
(Like man-flu, but with added plank-walking, and peg-leg having and such..)
Oh. Em. Gee! What the hell is in this stuff? It’s amazing!
My skin reacted badly to the meds I’m on and broke out like a 13 year old boys skin. Not a good look on a grown woman. Even my beloved Elemis was doing sod all. If I’d been brave enough to go out without make up, I’m sure a helpful shop assistant would’ve taken me into a back room for a sit down and a sweet cup of tea whilst she called for help. I looked like shit basically. Anyway read your review, went to Boots and bought the stay clear cleanser, five minute face mask and mattifying moisturiser. (3 for 2). I’ve used it all twice and ready my skin is looking normal again. I even had colour in my cheeks for first time in ages. My gob is smacked.
So yeah, thanks very muchly.
Julie. My gob is also smacked. Is the moisturiser any good? I’m tempted to try it.
OMG Facegoop. Where has this stuff been all my life?! All those other cleansers, they swoop in and dazzle you with their charm, wit and attractive packaging. Then they manage to smooth talk their way into your bathroom cabinet and before you know it they’re drying your skin out, causing volcano-like eruptions on your chin, leaving wet towels on the bed and hogging the TV remote while your bank balance whimpers quietly in a corner. But, not this stuff, oh no! I too have only used it twice and my skin is already improving – bye bye spotty chin forever! I wouldn’t be surprised to go home later and find it’s cooked me dinner and made the bed.
You are all killlling meeeeeeee. Goddammit.
M – The mattifying moisturiser is also brilliant. Haven’t had to reapply make up after 2 hours like I usually do and it shrinks ze pores down instantly. Plus I have been complimented on how nice my face smells. Not surprisingly, this has never happened before.
I know! The smell! I’m not particularly fond of it to be honest, but people seem to like it. Fruity.
i bought this the other day after reading this review. it’s quite possibly the greatest thing that has happened to me and the worst thing that has ever happened to the annoying spot that always appears on my 40 year old chin (what a crap film that would be) approximately 8 days out of every month. it’s gone after two days. seriously good shit man.
[...] like the frog purse all over [...]