Spring pinks

M: SPRING. It is spring. The leaves are growing.

E: So I hear. The bunnies are frolicking. The daffodils are .. being yellow.

M: The squirrels are screwing.

E: The teenagers are smoking hash.

M: The peacocks are barking.

E: The seagulls are eating chips.

M: I think we’re doing spring wrong, E.

E: You may be right.

M: You know what spring needs, E?

E: Castrating? A restraining order? An ASBO? To actually get motherfucking warm?

M: Maybe. Or: a bright lip.

E: Oooooh. A bright lip. The fashion singular.


E: Funnily enough, I have been and bought myself a bright lip, which as you know is TOTALLY out of character.


E: You know about my Lip Colour Phobia.

M: Yes. I know it well. I disapprove of it.

E: I fear lip colour. I only want .. nude. And beige.

M: Nude schmude. Beige schmeige.

E: Well, I had a rush of spring blood to the head and I allowed a saleslizard to convince me to buy a bright lipstick. It is Tom Ford’s Flamingo.

M: Tom Ford: the Rolls Royce of lipstick.

E: Of course Tom Ford has a Flamingo, and I bet it doesn’t shit over his parquet or keep him up with its raucous spring lovemaking.

M: Like the peacock in my garden. That is one randy bird.

E: Peacocks: creatures of high libido.

M: Flamingos: creatures of excellent pinkness.

E: True, dat. Here is my lipstick. It is pretty. And BRIGHT.

M: Nice. Cheerful. Not peacock shagging wild, just pink.

E: Tom? Flamingos aren’t actually that colour. They are more coral.

M: I think it’s supposed to be more like, essence of flamingo. Flamboyant. LOOK AT ME! I’M A PINK BIRD!

E: Somehow, pink is less of a psychological leap for me than red.

M: That’s weird, it’s harder for me. Red is easy, classic.

E: I think Mademoiselle was my gateway lipstick.

M: Dude, that’s practically brown.

E: PINKY brown. And now I am trying to push my lipstick boundaries back, like on one of those programmes about phobias.

“Describe your level of discomfort on a scale from one to ten”

Red would be a TEN. Pink is ooh, a seven, I suppose.

M: I see, like arachnophobia therapy. First you can look at pictures of a spider, then you can look at a spider, then you can wear a spider on your lips.

E: Erm, yes. So red lipstick is my spiderlips. I’m not there yet. I have to confess I am not even fully doing the pink thing.

M: What comfort level of lipstick are you wearing now?

E: Well. I am trying to use this Tom Ford Flamingo, but I am smudging it with some Lanolips Rhubarb. It’s really full on and matte if you put it straight from the tube.

M: Pretty! I do not agree that, in your words, you look like a “geriatric goth forced to wear a tutu”. Smudging is good. I always end up with lipstick on my teeth otherwise. Since you are experimenting with pink, E, let me show you MY pink lipstick.


M: YES! SO PINK. Even pinker in real life. Neon pink.

E: You look really hot actually. What is it?

M: Thanks E. It is Estee Lauder Portofino Coral, granny’s signature lipstick.

E: It’s ok, you don’t have the heavily powdered face necessary to do it granny style.

M: It’s very creamy, and super pigmented, but it goes all over the fucking place.

E: All over your granny shopping trolley and your zip up furry booties. No, I am joking, it’s really very pretty. It makes me want to push back my pink boundaries (that sounds like a terrible euphemism).

M: Ha. I love it with actual true love.

E: Pink lips: not just for Christmas. Indeed, not for Christmas at ALL.

M: What are your favourite pinks, Facegoopists? And what lipstick colours set your spider phobia scale tingling?

Tom Ford in Flamingo, £36

Estée Lauder Signature Hydra Lustre in Portofino Coral, £19


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M likes bright powders in tiny pots and anything that will make her hair more Jen Brill and less Shaun the Sheep.


  • March 26, 2012


    I too used to be afraid of bright lipstick. Any lipstick actually. But now nothing is too much, my current favourite is Mac Quick Sizzle. It’s NEON man. Draws attention away from the area which do not benefit from scrutiny.

  • March 27, 2012


    I just got some Laura Mercier Gel Lip Colour in Rosette, which is really very pink. It, in fact, lives up to that annoying Lucky-magazine “your lips but better!” bullshit. It makes my thin, pale old-lady lips look youthful and smooch-worthy. At first I thought it was crap because the color didn’t seem to last. Then I realized you can just keep applying it all day like lip balm and it ends up leaving a nice pink stain without any of the usual gooky buildup of colored lip balms.

  • March 27, 2012

    Musing on Beauty

    The only colors that would reach a 10 on my lipcolor phobia scale would maybe be black, teal, blue and deifinitely silver (a silver lip is really relly ugly IMO)
    But I’m safe with pink, red, orange, you name it. I have a passion for magentas and fuchsias (Mac Girl About Town, Illamasqua Atomic, to name just a few), all kinds of reds (Illamasqua Ignite and Maneater being my favorite)… I don’t mind corals- that Estee Lauder one is REALLY pretty.
    I find lip colors to be the lazy girl’s best friend: wake up late, slap on foundation with fingers, put on mascara, add a bright lip in the car and ta-daaah you’re all made up. (Add said lip color to your cheeks as well, in case you skipped blush, or you’ll look washed out). 5 min max. Very helpful.

  • March 29, 2012

    Mariah Carey

    How is pink for writing something sexy/emotionally-unsettling on a mirror? Legible?

  • March 31, 2012


    I too am terrified of the pink although have wonderful hippie lipstick (bought in a Whole Foods in South California no less) which is a v orangey-red, made by, erm, can’t remember (damn Aspalls cider). It is v lovely but has engendered many a (nice) remark. Also a super nigh on goth Chanel from my darling sister in law (who claimed it was too dark for her so gave me a freebie; I suspect a lovely lady and just realised I looked like shee-ite and gave it to me). It’s a v dark red but as it’s a lovely Chanel is v wearable, even in the dull academic research environment I work in.
    Essay over. Fcking cider.

  • April 8, 2012


    E – are your eyes shut in that picture? Behind your glasses? If so, I approve.

  • April 11, 2012


    Mac ‘lickable’for me, just a hint of Mrs Doubtfire crossed with chaffinch breast

  • May 31, 2012


    Probably, Sam. Too much reality is very tiring.

  • March 17, 2013

    Dancing lips

    […] E, you know I favour bright lipsticks. Even more so now that I go swing dancing 15 times a week. The bright lip. It is […]

  • […] But also bright pink lipstick and a healthy flush of colour on my cheeks. Ideally, from running around a flowery meadow; […]

  • […] But also bright pink lipstick and a healthy flush of colour on my cheeks. Ideally, from running around a flowery meadow; […]

  • […] But also bright pink lipstick and a healthy flush of colour on my cheeks. Ideally, from running around a flowery meadow; […]

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