Revenge of the bright lip

E: So, M. Inspired by your bright lips shenanigans I raided my local pharmacy-type-boots-type-drugstore place for cheap brightness, even though I have no plans to rub my face on dancing beards. Maybe a horse. But they don’t expect you to wear make up.

M: Oh yes? And what did you buy?

E: I cannot pretend I was really “feeling it”, the bright lip thing, but I persevered. They did not have Revlon so I bought a bright pink felt tip by Maybelline. It is called “Colour Sensational”. The sensation in question must be ‘extreme, painful dehydration’, for I have to tell you M, this felt tip pen for lips is AWFUL.


Color Sensational in front of the bin. WHERE IT BELONGS.

M: Uh oh. What does it do?

E: It is exactly the same as drawing on your lips with a felt tip pen when you are six.

M: Yes. But with a better selection of colours.

E: I suppose. And to give it its due, it’s more like the posh felt tip pens some of my mates were allowed that were scented, because it smells strongly of synthetic fruit flavouring. However, it also desiccated my lips to a husk.

M: Dry like the desert. And not “dessert” as I initially wrote.

E: A dry dessert is a sad, sad, thing.

M: True fact. Did you basically end up looking like Ogra from the Dark Crystal?


E: Yes. Yes I did (what the fuck is that?).

M: Does it have a built-in balm? I find that helps.

E: No, that might have helped. I hate it with the heat of a thousand suns. My children can use it to colour in the dog. It is never going near my face again.


M: Oh dear. But did you layer under lipstick? You are supposed to layer under lipstick, idiot!

E: I AM COMING TO THAT. Yes. I layered under a Rimmel Kate Moss lipstick, poetically called “5”. The Kate Moss was like an OASIS TO A DYING CAMEL after that felt tip pen débâcle.


M: Really?

E: Yes. It brought my sad sad lips back to a semblance of life. I was quite impressed with the formulation, which was really quite moisturising. Props, Rimmel.

M: Good. Were you pleased with the results, aesthetically?

E: I have sent you a picture.

bright lips 2

M: Oh, very good. Very ‘modern’.

E: What do you think? It is bright. Flattering-ish? More or less suits my cadaverous complexion (though someone on my other blog disagreed and said it was too blue)?

M: Yes. You have a bit of the Bieber post-concert going on. I like it.

E: Yeah, that’s not really the look I was aiming for, but .. thanks?

M: Tell us about your adventures in bright lips, Facegoopists.

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M likes bright powders in tiny pots and anything that will make her hair more Jen Brill and less Shaun the Sheep.


  • March 29, 2013


    I am quite a fan of the “bright lip” though sadly have had to eschew it most of the time at the mo in case I smear it all over the baby.

    Though if I was considering a new bright, I’d go for the new Aveda lippie in Cana. It is sort of lurid orangey-red, and moisturizing, and MINTY.

  • March 29, 2013


    Definitely suits you, probably BECAUSE it’s got so much blue in it. You’ve got that type of complexion that can take anemone colours.

    And with those cheekbones, you could get away with murder. Have you ever had the urge to experiment with er…bold, shamelessly synthetic wigs? I can totally see you in a white wig. Or a red one. NB I am not taking the piss. You’re seriously pretty.

  • March 30, 2013


    Laura Mercier Gel Lipcolour (lne since discontinued) in Hibiscus Bloom. I love a bright lip, though I’m starting to worry about drifting off into Baby Jane territory because I have a tendency to put it on while on a moving subway and without a mirror.

    I think that color looks great on you. And I’m loving the hair, too! Is that the old hair with a new cut? Because it is GOOD.

  • March 31, 2013


    Agree with Nellig but enough of the love-in because I’ve been on the Gin etc.

    Used to wear this amazing Fuschia lipstick by YSL #33 which they discontinued about 25 years ago – worn hardly anything else but neutrals since but recently been experimenting with serious reds (best is another YSL but I can’t be bothered to go and find – refer back to Gin) before my lips shrink to nothing and wither up and die.

    M x

  • April 1, 2013


    I have extremely dry lips which is probably the fault of the very strong acne medicine I took not one but two courses of in my youth (attractive-sounding, no?), but I have never in my life worn a lipstick that didn’t make my lips incredibly dry and peely about 30 minutes later. I do not believe that moisturizing lipsticks exist. I have paid for expensive ones, it’s not like they were all drugstore crap. But if you know of a lipstick that is really and truly Burts-Bees-style moisturizing, it would be a revolution in my (scant) makeup life and I would like to know about it.

    I sometimes use a gloss which is lighter and better, but still with the peeling.

  • April 1, 2013


    Oh, you are all kind.

    Nellig, I did in the past have a shoulder length strawberry blonde plasticky number. It was rather fine, but I couldn’t cope with the QUANTITY of hair. Even when I had my own it was very thin.. Maybe I should try again.

    Margaret – No, it’s the same old balding wig, but thank you!

  • April 3, 2013


    M got me hooked on Lipstick Queen. I have very dry lips that peel most days, so until recently lipstick was an exotic myth surely conceived in harems where plump mouths never dry. It’s amazingly moisturising and oh so bright. I got the Bright Rose in Sinner. Also their Chinatown gloss pencil in Chase, easy glamour wand.

    Chantecaille hybrid lipsticks are very good too, but pricy, and more sheer.

  • April 3, 2013


    Ah, lipstick. How I love you. No matter how pants the rest of my face has decided to be that day, a splash of something bright always perks it up. My lips are ultra sensitive though (the remnants of childhood exzema), so comfort is a must. Anything drying, staining, strongly scented or containing ANY menthol means I wake up the next day with what to the untrained eye looks a great deal like mouth herpes. Unfortunate, to say the least.

    A great, reliable red is Chanel’s La Fascinante, in their Rouge Allure range. Wears off ok, which is what you need in reds. A brilliant fuck-off neon coral is 110 in the Rimmel Kate Moss range. Definitely one for brave days, but a great range that feels much more expensive than it is. Smells weirdly like watermelon, but so far my face hasn’t complained.

    My secret weapon is Topshop make up. I saw someone above ask about non-drying lip products, and I recommend the Topshop Lip Crayons. I have a super vampy purple one (‘Arcade’) and it literally goes on like a balm, but with the colour payoff of a lipstick. Unscented, no sticky lipgloss feeling. Very, very comfortable. I can reapply all night long without my lips throwing a hissyfit at 2am.

  • April 4, 2013


    Thank you Joi for this, now I want ALL OF THEM. I am going to drag M off to buy Topshop Lip Crayons at our next Facegoop Stupidity Summit.

  • May 26, 2013


    Hello! I’ve just trundled over from the Guardian website to have a look around. This is the first post I’ve read and you’ve referenced Olgra! Ha! I think this will be the only beauty blog I will be able to stand reading. Cheers!

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