Facegoop on the Guardian!

Facegoop Guardian front page

M: So, E.

E: Yes? Yes my light-hooved capybara friend?

M: Let’s take a short break from our regular programme of self-flagellation and mild under-achievement, shall we?

E: It is a very long programme with little chance off graduation in sight, so yes. Let’s take a short sabbatical and say LOOK! FACEGOOP IS ON THE GUARDIAN.


E: The actual Guardian that my stepfather reads (except just the news, not G2 or any of the other frivolous bits. And not online where we’ll be. So not that Guardian at all, really)!

M: THE GUARDIAN OF…. the guardian of what, E?


M: Yes. That. I’m not entirely sure how this happened, E.

E: I am. We applied. At Christmas. Then it took ages.

M: Oh yes. I have foggy memories of beanbags and a very nice pumpkin salad at some sort of training day. The rest is hazy.

E: Maybe they spiked your quinoa?

M: Because suddenly we have a space over there on the new Guardian Fashion Bloggers network to talk about whatever beauty nonsense we want (as long as we don’t swear).

E: Or tell jokes about Alan Rusbridger and pigeons. Or capitalise the “T” in t-shirt. We will be posting regularly on our own special Guardian Facegoop page and it is live NOW.

M: What do we have planned, E?

E: Well! We’re starting with a body oil slapdown that includes the phrase “sexy sex”. There’s a very special ludicrous photo post where I dress up as a man. And my Amish Guide To Lip Colour for the Modest.

M: I’m going to do something about BIG HAIR.

E: HUGE hair.

M: Hair that can eat your face. Maybe a few interviews of amazing looking people thrown in. It’s basically, the same as we already do here.

E: We’ll still be posting over here too. All the stuff with capital Ts and swearing and pigeon jokes will still be available here at Original Full Fat Facegoop ™.

M: Shit.

E: What?

M: All this amazing content won’t write itself. Better get our act together.

E: This “act together” business sounds nothing like us, M. But hey! This is our self-loathing sabbatical and anything is possible! Dismount from the walrus of despair and come ride the unicorn of possibility with us!

M: Yes. Do what the crazy woman says. Like us on Facebook! Go read Facegoop on the Guardian Fashion Bloggers’ Network! It’ll keep us in lipsalve and cotton buds. Maybe.

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M likes bright powders in tiny pots and anything that will make her hair more Jen Brill and less Shaun the Sheep.


  • June 14, 2013


    They lowercase the t in T-shirt? Do they understand that it is so called because it resembles a CAPITAL T? I should know because I am from the Land That Invented T-Shirts. Fucking culturally illiterate limeys. (I’ll miss the cussing on Fancy-Schmancy Guardian Facegoop.)

  • June 14, 2013


    I know, I know Margaret. We are finding it quite a strain. We will just come here and let out a stream of half-arsed obscenities with capital T T-shirts now and then. It is necessary.

  • June 14, 2013


    I certainly hope that suppressing all that cursing does not cause you either apoplexy, or to break out in hives/spots. Either is awful, but hives/spots are harder to hide with cosmetics.

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