Just learned frankincense proven to slow down breathing. #insideREN is like beauty school. And, possibly, sorcery.
— Facegoop (@facegoop) January 22, 2014
M: I went to a bloggers’ event about REN’s anti-ageing skincare. Average bloggers’ age: 23.
E: Huh. Why do they need anti-ageing? Or perhaps they are actually 43 and IT WORKS?
M: Could be. Katie, their marketing lady, looked about 17, and she’s been working there for seven years. She’s either a prodigy, or a black sorceress. Or it’s the V-Cense cream, with “Frankincense and Boswellic acid to relax facial muscles”. You’ve used that, haven’t you?
E: I’m using it now. I like it.
M: Oh? The smell bothers me. I’m scared to put it on my skin because I don’t want to smell like Baby Jesus.
E: I like the smell, it’s pine fresh, like facial Cif. My current attitude to skin care is very simple, M. I like it if it doesn’t give me hideous break outs and does the job. This V-Cense (caution: space lizards at work) does that.
M: You’ve been eating live mice, haven’t you. You don’t care about the free radicals. Or the fact Vitamin C is a “big story”.
E: I don’t. This stuff is fine. It doesn’t give me angry monkey face and that’s my gold standard in skin care, right now.
M: Well that’s a ringing endorsement.
E: It is! And we have a pot of this frankincense infused goop to give away so that one of your faces can not look like an angry monkey too!
M: All you have to do is answer this question in the comments before 14 February 2014 (ooooh!): What does the V in V-Cense stand for? Silly answers only, please.